Category Archives: Humour

FRIDAY FUN WITH WORDS ~ THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH

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FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, 

AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:

Some chuckles for you that I received in a recent e-mail about just how peculiar our English language can be ~

TEQUILAOne tequila, two tequila, three tequila…… Floor.

 

MONKEYIf man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

BOOKSTOREI went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “where’s the self- help section?” she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

QUESTIONWhat if there were no hypothetical questions?

 

 FOREST RANGERWhere do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”

 

FLYWould a fly without wings be called a walk?

GAS STATIONWhy do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean them?

PARSLEYIf a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

TURTLEIf a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

ANIMAL CRACKERS2Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

 

ATM MACHINEWhy do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?

DEER CROSSINGHow do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

SOUR CREAM BESTWhy is there an expiration date on sour cream?

SLICED BREADWhat was the best thing before sliced bread?

 

MERMAIDDoes the little mermaid wear an algebra?(tricky)

 

SWIMMERCROPPEDIf one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

PASTAIf you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

WATER DROPLET HAPPY ICON GIMPCROPPEDHave a great weekend
from your friends at Rainsoft Ottawa,
Eternally Pure Water Systems, Inc
.

LAUGHING2GIMPCROPPED

T.G.I.F. HO!HO!HO! ~ CHRISTMAS ~ HA!HA!HA! PART II

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GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK AGAIN FOR MORE CHRISTMAS CHUCKLES ~ ENJOY!

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Christmas Myspace Animated Gifs

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Christmas Myspace Animated Gifs

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CHRISTMAS ANIMATED CAROLERS

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HA!HA!HA! ~ HO!HO!HO! 

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http://www.graphicsgrotto.com/

to J.L. who e-mailed me the jokes without the animated graphics – thanks!

SPREAD THE STUPIDITY ~ PSYCHIC WINS LOTTERY!!!

SPREAD THE STUPIDITY

Only in This Stupid World
…do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in This Stupid World
…do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in This Stupid World
…do banks leave vault doors open
and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in This Stupid World
…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in This Stupid World
…do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in This Stupid World
…do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER

…Why the sun lightens our hair,…but darkens our skin?

…Why don’t you ever see the headline…’Psychic Wins Lottery’?

…Why is it that Doctors call what they do…’practice’?

…Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

…Why is the man who invests all your money…called a broker?

…Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called…rush hour?

…Why isn’t there Mouse-flavoured cat food?

 

…Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

…Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

…You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?…Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

…Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

…Why are they called apartments when…
they are all stuck together?


…If con is the opposite of Pro,…
is Congress the opposite of progress?

…If flying is so safe,…
why do they call the airport the terminal?

I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did ~ I’m still laughing about some of them!

And…of course share this with your friends

FRIDAY FUN ~ HA! HA! HA! ~ YOUR INSTANT VACATION

Click here for more graphics and gifs!LAUGHTER IS AN INSTANT VACATION”     MOVIE

FROM SIMPLE TRUTHS.COM

          HUMOUROUS QUOTES ON LIFE

Did you know that recent studies say that we need at least 12 laughs per day to stay healthy?  We at Rainsoft Ottawa want to do our part in boosting your health factor with this presentation – lots of Ha!Ha!Has! in store for you.  Have fun with the ‘tickles to you funny bone’ and enjoy your armchair ‘stress free’ vacation with quotes in the video from  famous celebrities.

Click here for more graphics and gifs!The following lists just a few of the famous people quoted in the book: Joey Bishop, Zaa Zaa Gabor, Roseanne Barr, Erma Bombeck, Phyllis Diller, W. C. Fields, Cary Grant, Jerome K. Jerome, Rita Rudner, Ben Franklin, Jackie Mason, Bob Thaves, Ashleigh Brilliant, Robert Orben, Tommy Cooper, Bill Cosby, Henny Youngman,  Cathy Guisewite

CLICK BELOW for link to video ~

Laughter is an Instant Vacation Movie.

Click here for more graphics and gifs!Comments from simpletruths.com site about the book, ‘Laughter is an Instant Vacation’ ~ “They say laughter is the best medicine.  In fact, studies show that we need a minimum of 12 laughs a day…just to stay healthy.  ‘Laughter is an Instant Vacation’ can deliver 250 of them.  Paired with funny photos, these quotes are guaranteed to give you an attitude boost or provide a laugh when you need it most.  So, put the fun back in your life with ‘Laughter is an Instant Vacation’…

Simple Truths provides customers with inspirational and motivational gift books and movies.  Our books and movies are comprised of short inspirational stories and motivational quotes that are certain to make a positive lasting impression.  Simple Truths gift books and movies are great for friends & family, co-workers, teachers, students, corporations and businesses.”

Click here for more graphics and gifs!Knowing I won’t be disappointed with the content, I plan to order this book to keep handy on the coffee table for our daily chuckles ~ thanks to Simple Truths.

Click here for more graphics and gifs!As usual, I encourage you to share this video with your family, friends and co-workers.

“HAPPY SPRINGTIME” 2012

Rainsoft Ottawa sends         

“Happy Springtime” 

to all our friends we’ve

met through our blog.

May your spring season be

happy, healthy & prosperous.

 

  I hope you enjoy the Ottawa springtime collage I created for you.

 

How does the kiddie’s springtime rhyme go?…

Spring has sprung, the grass is ris’, I wonder where ‘dem birdies is!  The birds is on the wing!
Don’t be absurd!
Da wings is on the bird!!!

 

The collage below contains photos taken in Ottawa’s Byward Market area.

Hope to have you visit with us again tomorrow!!!