From your friends at Rainsoft Ottawa – These are really great – enjoy and share!

Lexiphiles (i.e., “lovers of words or wordplay”, you know…like… you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish….or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger… then it hit me… etc.).

Well, here we go!

To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes. . . take debate; because they don’t keep their mouths shut.

A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles . . . U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married . . . then they fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you don’t pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name . . . and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you . . . A_flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : . . . the LAN down under.

A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping center . . . you’ve seen the_mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He’s all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . . jog your memory.

A bicycle can’t stand alone. . . it is two tired.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism,. . . it’s your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry. . . it goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be . . .  exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair . . . she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture . . . a jab well done.

The mind is like a parachute. . . it doesn’t work unless it’s open.

Wayne Goose ate the mining boom’s golden egg. . . this is not a yolk.

Ha!Ha!Ha! Dont’ you just love our Friday input?!!!


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