RAINSOFT OTTAWA’S FUN FRIDAY – PUNOGRAPHY PART II

Punography –  a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.

 

Health:

 A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

When chemists die, they barium.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Be kind to your dentist.  He has fillings, too.

School:

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

Weather:

Earthquake in Washington obviously the government’s fault .

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me .

Miscellaneous:

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

Velcro – what a rip off!

Link –

http://www.talkclassical.com/18592-more-punography-groan.html

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