Friday Fun With Words – Ha! Ha!

Image result for paraprosdokiansParaprosdokiansImage result for paraprosdokians

Apparently Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians (often mispelled as araprosdokians). These are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and frequently humorous. Here are 29 to get you giggling.

WATER DROPLET HAPPY ICON GIMPCROPPEDWell I agree – nothing like clever humour –
these certainly had me chuckling!

Image result for paraprosdokians

Image result for a will, I want to be in itWhere there’s a will, I want to be in it.

Image result for the last thing i want to do is hurt youThe last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.

Image result for light travels faster than sound einsteinSince light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Image result for if i agreed with youIf I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

Image result for we never really grow upWe never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Image result for war does not determine who is rightWar does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Image result for knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit quoteKnowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Image result for They begin the evening news with “Good Evening”They begin the evening news with “Good Evening”, then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Image result for to steal ideas from one person is plagiarism

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Image result for Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stationsBuses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
Image result for Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
In filling out an application, where it says, ‘Emergency contact’, I put ‘doctor’.

Image result for bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

CONSCIENCEA clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

PARACHUTEYou do not need a parachute to skydive unless you want to do it again.

Image result for pot of gold clipartMoney can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

INDECISIVEI used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

TARGETTo be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Image result for paraprosdokiansDuring WWII Sir Winston Churchill address to congress began with: “It has often been said that Britain and America are two nations divided only by a common language”.

Image result for I am supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

http://storyfix.com/useless-humor-fun-with-words

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s