Category Archives: Entertainment

Friday Fun With Words – Ha! Ha!

Image result for paraprosdokiansParaprosdokiansImage result for paraprosdokians

Apparently Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians (often mispelled as araprosdokians). These are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and frequently humorous. Here are 29 to get you giggling.

WATER DROPLET HAPPY ICON GIMPCROPPEDWell I agree – nothing like clever humour –
these certainly had me chuckling!

Image result for paraprosdokians

Image result for a will, I want to be in itWhere there’s a will, I want to be in it.

Image result for the last thing i want to do is hurt youThe last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.

Image result for light travels faster than sound einsteinSince light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Image result for if i agreed with youIf I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

Image result for we never really grow upWe never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Image result for war does not determine who is rightWar does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Image result for knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit quoteKnowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Image result for They begin the evening news with “Good Evening”They begin the evening news with “Good Evening”, then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Image result for to steal ideas from one person is plagiarism

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Image result for Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stationsBuses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
Image result for Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
In filling out an application, where it says, ‘Emergency contact’, I put ‘doctor’.

Image result for bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

CONSCIENCEA clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

PARACHUTEYou do not need a parachute to skydive unless you want to do it again.

Image result for pot of gold clipartMoney can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

INDECISIVEI used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

TARGETTo be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Image result for paraprosdokiansDuring WWII Sir Winston Churchill address to congress began with: “It has often been said that Britain and America are two nations divided only by a common language”.

Image result for I am supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

http://storyfix.com/useless-humor-fun-with-words

NYC Water Tank Project ~ Fabulous Results!

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Launching summer 2014, The Water Tank Project will transform the New York City skyline.  Look up! Some 300 water tanks around NYC are getting artsy makeovers all in the name of water conservation.

Run by Word Above the Street, a nonprofit dedicated to fostering environmental awareness and water conservation through art, the Water Tank Project looks like it will be a gushing success.water-tank-project-new-york-2.jpg

Art gets wrapped around NYC water tanks | ZoomIN

The Water Tank Project is the inaugural initiative of Word Above the Street, a non-profit dedicated to fostering environmental awareness and social advocacy through art. The incredible Water Tank Project will see approximately 100 local artists, including NYC public school students and internationally acclaimed artists such as Laurie Simmons and Odili Donald Odita, wrapping their artwork around selected city tanks. JORDI FORNIESArtwork by acclaimed artists and New York City public school students will be wrapped around rooftop water tanks throughout the city, celebrating the talents of established and emerging artists, and calling attention to the global water crisis. IMAGE3The Water Tank Project is part art exhibition, part awareness campaign. For the duration of the project, art above will be complemented by action on the ground through educational programs, public tours, social media activities and a symposium dedicated to inspiring fresh views on global water issues. 

For the duration of the city-wide event, tanks from Staten Island to the Bronx will be wrapped in vibrant artwork in hopes of bringing much-needed attention to global water issues. Often overlooked as rooftop eyesores, some of the 17,000 water tanks in Manhattan date back as far as the Industrial Revolution. While some may consider the rusty relics a thing of the past today, the Water Tank Project brings an important environmental purpose to the large iconic barrels.

IMAGE2 DOG

If you happen to be at Union Square, look up at the water tower above the Burlington Coat Factory. There’s a picture of a surfing dog on it, taken by fashion photographer Bruce Weber. Part of the Water Tank Project, this is one of several water towers around the city that will be wrapped in artwork to raise awareness about the global water crisis.
“I once had a dog named Palomino. He was an English Golden Retriever who loved nothing more than freewheeling like a hot dog surfer on the level of Kelly Slater. Whether on water or on land, with Palomino life was always an adventure”
. Bruce Weber, “Palomino Takes a Wave”.

ODILI DONALD ODITA
This painting called “Current” by Odili Odeta  – 282 11th Ave  (Chelsea) can be seen in the skyline to the left of Laurie Simmons’ Love Doll .

SWIMMER LAURIE SIMMONSSince I moved to New York many years ago I’ve wondered what it would be like to swim in a water tank. The Love Doll gets to enact this fantasy for me.” Laurie Simmons 

BACTERIA“Despite the fact that Georgia, the country where I was born, has numerous rivers, in the days of the Soviet Empire, when nothing was working well, there were many hours a day when we were without water. During my life I have lived in different countries, countries where water only runs during certain hours of the day. For my work for the water tank, “Bacteria”, my thoughts were focused on the contamination of water. Water can cause health problems; that made me think of the bacteria in water. We associate water with purity, cleanliness, and well-being. In many areas of the world, this is not the case. I imagined water bacteria in my painting for The Water Tank Project to raise awareness.” — Eteri Chkadua

SIGRID CALON

The Sigrid Calon tank at 530 West 25th St. in NYC’s Chelsea neighborhood.

FEMALE FIGURE LORENZO PETRANTONIWater Means Life – Lorenzo Petrantoni – 393 W Broadway (SoHo) 

GUSH As you stroll across the Brooklyn Bridge toward Manhattan, look to the South to view Marilyn Minter’s Gush atop 264 Water Street. SCOTT CHRISTOPHERTessa Traeger – 110 Fulton Street Tessa Traeger (Financial District)

IMAGE1Our aim is to produce art as social intervention, to inspire awe and joy, to educate, and to alter attitudes and habits among those who experience The Water Tank Project, ultimately creating meaningful and long-lasting change.

POTTERYThe organizers of the event hope that by decorating the tanks, the artsy initiative will inspire awe and joy as well as educate and alter everyday attitudes and habits towards water conservation. In addition to the water tank makeovers, the organization is planning tours, parties, educational programs and multiple forums discussing global water issues.

seen from Union SquareInterestingly, the printed wraps are installed on the tanks by Isseks Brothers, a family-owned NYC business established in the late 1800s. Isseks is one of only two companies in New York City that build and maintain water tanks. 

Mother Nature at Her Most Bizarre ~ Photos

I received the following photograph collection of Mother Nature’s amazing oddities, “These Bizarre Nature Photos Show How Strange Earth Really Is” from http://www.viralnova.com/earth-oddities yesterday.

These photos might look like they come from an alien planet, but it turns out our own little Earth is capable of some truly weird stuff. All of these things occur naturally across the globe because of, like, science and stuff. A lot of the reasons why go over my head, but it’s all true. It’s easy to appreciate the wondrous beauty of Earth without knowing exactly how it happens. Some of these are cringe-worthy, but others make me want to buy a plane ticket. And I am definitely going to pay closer attention to sunsets from now on. Take a look at some of the cool things you didn’t realize happen on our home planet.

1. Never-ending Wave: Occurs twice a year in Brazil when the Atlantic ocean meets the mouth of the Amazon River. The resulting waves can travel 500 miles inland before slowing down.

2. Underwater Crop Circles: In Japan male pufferfish flapping their fins creating their alien-esque circles in the sand.

3. Bleeding Glacier: Also known as Blood Falls in Antarctica, the outflowing water resembles blood due to iron oxide.

4. Blue Lava: Due to sulfuric gases at extremely high temperatures, this volcano in Indonesia produces the blue glowing lava.

5. Calcifying Lake: This creepy lake in Tanzania has such high PH levels that it calcifies any animal that goes into the water.

6. Cocooned Trees: During the flood season in Pakistan, spiders are forced to flee to the trees where their webs create this effect.

7. Danixia Landforms: Over millions of years, the red sandstone and mineral deposits in certain areas of China have created these rainbow-like landforms.

8. Frost Flowers: In Arctic areas these floral ice formations occur when the temperature between the ocean and the atmosphere differs.

9. Green Flash: This rare phenomenon occurs when the conditions are right at the beginning or end of a sunset.

10. Hair Ice: Water escaping ice in freezing weather can have this follicle-effect due to certain bacteria presence.

11. Horsetail Falls: In Yosemite National Park, California, this waterfall looks more like lave with a bright orange glow at certain times of the day in February.

WATER DROPLET HAPPY ICON GIMPCROPPEDHave a great weekend everyone.  It looks as if Mother Nature is finally going to be kind to us and send us some half decent weather over the weekend – hope you have the same.

Random thoughts as we age ~ Hilarious!

1-AGING FUNNY-001

Random thoughts as we age:

BAD MEMORYThe biggest lie I tell myself is …”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

Image result for shrink clothesWouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

PROCRASTINATELast year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet!

TRIPI don’t trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

ANGERI don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

OLD AGE CROPOld age is coming at a really bad time!

BARSLord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

GREY HAIRI don’t have gray hair. I have “wisdom highlights”………. I’m just very wise.

SHOOTTeach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper!

TOUCH TOESIf God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.

PLSThe kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no”…..which is shorter than “yes”.

RETIREI’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second week.

WE THE PEOPLEWhen did it change from “We the people” to “screw the people” ???

DUCT TAPEEven duct tape can’t fix stupid …….. but it can muffle the sound!

CROP PRESS ONEWhy do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

TALK TO SELFOf course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!


Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

LUCKYAt my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

SEND E-MAILAnd, of course… Have I sent this to you already or did you send this to me?

 

WATER DROPLET HAPPY ICON GIMPCROPPEDEnjoyed the chuckles?

If so – great, then share with others and have an enjoyable weekend.

 

 

Canadian humour ~ You’ll Love Our Winters! Ha! ha! Part II

BOSTON SNOW2The following is the youtube video, “Boston Blizzard 2015 #Snowlapse ” that I included in the first part of this blog.  

WATER DROPLET1_FOR BLOG ICON

This winter, which is one for the records, many of our American friends to the south are also experiencing record breaking temperatures and snowfalls.  Hang in their folks ~ they tell us that there really is a spring season at the end of this long white tunnel!

LAUGHING2GIMPCROPPED

Here in Ottawa the snow keeps coming (although thank goodness we’re faring much better than our fellow Canadians down east) and the frigid temperatures are still with us. Time again to snuggle up with your blankie and a warm cup of cocoa to enjoy the rest of these cartoon jokes…

JOKE13  JOKE14 JOKE15 JOKE16 JOKE17 JOKE18 JOKE19 JOKE20 JOKE21 JOKE22 JOKE23 JOKE24

Whoops! Still looks like I lied about spring
being at the end of the white tunnel!

WATER DROPLET HAPPY ICON GIMPCROPPEDHave a great weekend and try to get out to enjoy a winter activity or two with family and friends… 

Hope you’ll visit with us again next week.

Canadian humour ~ You’ll Love Our Winters! Ha! ha!

  I’ve got a few dozen jokes about Canada in the wintertime
and will divide them into 2 blogs.

BOSTON SNOW2

The following youtube video, “Boston Blizzard 2015 #Snowlapse – Watch the snow pile up! (40-hour time lapse in HD)” was published on Jan 28, 2015. It is a time lapse of the 2015 Boston blizzard from 3 pm on January 26 to 8 am on January 28, 2015.

The video was created from 5,000 images, recorded at 30-second intervals on a GoPro. The snowlapse was recorded on a roof in Back Bay Boston. For reference, the tall building on the far left is the Hancock Tower. The building in the distance in the middle is the Westin Copley Plaza and the illuminated “The” is from the roof of The Lenox Hotel.

WATER DROPLET1_FOR BLOG ICONThis winter, which is one for the records, many of our American friends to the south are also experiencing record breaking temperatures and snowfalls.  Hang in their folks ~ they tell us that there really is a spring season at the end of this long white tunnel!

LAUGHING2GIMPCROPPED

You’ve probably run out of places to pile the snow as you try to dig out, so just forget about it for now and  snuggle up with a blankie and a warm cup of cocoa to enjoy these cartoon jokes.

JOKE1 JOKE2 JOKE3 JOKE4 JOKE5 JOKE6 JOKE7 JOKE8   JOKE11 JOKE10JOKE12

Whoops! Looks like I lied about spring
being at the end of the white tunnel!

WATER DROPLET HAPPY ICON GIMPCROPPEDHave a great weekend and try to get out to enjoy a winter activity or two with family and friends… 

Hope you’ll visit with us again next week.

Funny Valentine’s Day a la Disney

1-DISNEY VALENTINES

TRANSPARENT HEARTGIMPHappy Valentine’s Day
from your friends
at Rainsoft Ottawa.

TRANSPARENT HEARTGIMP~ A funny and really cute trip
down Valentine’s memory lane
with some of your favorite Disney cartoon characters ~

WATER DROPLET HAPPY ICON GIMPCROPPEDI hope you enjoy the animation effects in this youtube video I found and the charming  accompaniment music, “I See the Light” by Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi.
Also, I searched soundcloud for the header music, “I See the Light” for your enjoyment.

TRANSPARENT HEARTGIMPHave fun watching the adorable Disney characters’ cavorting antics as they try to seal their true love.

“My Disney Valentine”, Uploaded on Feb 12, 2011 ~ https://www.youtube.com/embed/U6uELIxMaS4“><iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ 

TRANSPARENT HEARTGIMPEnjoy and share with

family and friends!

RAINSOFT RAINSOFT WHOLE HOUSE_GIMP

TRANSPARENT HEARTGIMPEternally Pure Water Systems, Inc.
5450 Canotek Rd., Unit 66-67
Ottawa, ON K1J 9G5
613-742-0058