Tag Archives: hilarious

12 Days of Christmas ~ Hilarious!!!

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CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN
by Frank Kelly

This is a hilarious take on the “12 Days of Christmas” – very 1980’s Ireland; harmless, subtle humour ~ doesn’t follow the original lyrics exactly. (Youtube video of Frank’s rendition at end)

ONEDay One
Dear Nuala,
Thank you very much for your lovely present of a partridge in a pear-tree. We’re getting the hang of feeding the partridge now, although it was difficult at first to win its confidence. It bit the mother rather badly on the hand but they’re good friends now and we’re keeping the pear-tree indoors in a bucket. Thank you again. Yours affectionately,
Gobnait O’Lúnasa

TWODay Two
Dear Nuala,
I cannot tell you how surprised we were to hear from you so soon again and to receive your lovely present of two turtle doves. You really are too kind. At first the partridge was very jealous and suspicious of the doves and they had a terrible row the night the doves arrived. We had to send for the vet but the birds are okay again and the stitches are due to come out in a week or two. The vet’s bill was £8 but the mother is over her annoyance now and the doves and the partridge are watching the telly from the pear-tree as I write. Yours ever,
Gobnait


THREEDay Three

Dear Nuala,
We must be foremost in your thoughts. I had only posted my letter when the three French hens arrived. There was another sort-out between the hens and the doves, who sided with the partridge, and the vet had to be sent for again. The mother was raging because the bill was £16 this time but she has almost cooled down. However, the fact that the birds’ droppings keep falling down on her hair whilen she’s watching the telly, doesn’t help matters. Thanking you for your kindness. I remain,
Your Gobnait

FOURDay Four
Dear Nuala,
You mustn’t have received my last letter when you were sending us the four calling birds. There was pandemonium in the pear-tree again last night and the vet’s bill was £32. The mother is on sedation as I write. I know you meant no harm and remain your close friend. Gobnauit

FIVEDay Five
Nuala,
Your generosity knows no bounds. Five gold rings ! When the parcel arrived I was scared stiff that it might be more birds, because the smell in the living-room is atrocious. However, I don’t want to seem ungrateful for the beautiful rings. Your affectionate friend, Gobnait

SIXDay Six
Nuala,
What are you trying to do to us ? It isn’t that we don’t appreciate your generosity but the six geese have not alone nearly murdered the calling birds but they laid their eggs on top of the vet’s head from the pear-tree and his bill was £68 in cash ! My mother is munching 60 grains of Valium a day and talking to herself in a most alarming way. You must keep your feelings for me in check. Gobnait

SEVENDay Seven
Nuala,
We are not amused by your little joke. Seven swans-a-swimming is a most romantic idea but not in the bath of a private house. We cannot use the bathroom now because they’ve gone completely savage and rush the door every time we try to enter. If things go on this way, the mother and I will smell as bad as the living-room carpet. Please lay off. It is not fair. Gobnait

EIGHTDay Eight
Nuala,
Who the hell do you think gave you the right to send eight, hefty maids-a-milking here, to eat us out of house and home ? Their cattle are all over the front lawn and have trampled the hell out of the mother’s rose-beds. The swans invaded the living-room in a sneak attack and the ensuing battle between them and the calling birds, turtle doves, French hens and partridge make the Battle of the Somme seem like Wanderly Wagon. The mother is on a bottle of whiskey a day, as well as the sixty grains of Valium. I’m very annoyed with you. Gobnait

FRANKS DRUMMERDay Nine
Listen you louser !
There’s enough pandemonium in this place night and day without nine drummers drumming, while the eight flaming maids-a-milking are beating my poor, old alcoholic mother out of her own kitchen and gobbling everything in sight. I’m warning you, you’re making an enemy of me. Gobnait

PIPERS TO CROP6Day Ten
Listen manure-face,
I hope you’ll be haunted by the strains of ten pipers piping which you sent to torment us last night. They were aided in their evil work by those maniac drummers and it wasn’t a pleasant sight to look out the window and see eight hefty maids-a-milking pogo-ing around with the ensuing punk-rock uproar. My mother has just finished her third bottle of whiskey, on top of a hundred and twenty four grains of Valium. You’ll get yours ! Gobnait O’Lúnasa

TEN LORDS LEAPING

Day Eleven
You have scandalized my mother, you dirty Jezebel,
It was bad enough to have eight maids-a-milking dancing to punk music on the front lawn but they’ve now been joined by your friends ~ the eleven Lords-a-leaping and the antics of the whole lot of them would leave the most decadent days of the Roman Empire looking like “Outlook”. I’ll get you yet, you ould bag !

TWELVEDay Twelve
Listen slurry head,
You have ruined our lives. The twelve maidens dancing turned up last night and beat the living daylights out of the eight maids-a-milking, ‘cos they found them carrying on with the eleven Lords-a-leaping. Meanwhile, the swans got out of the living-room, where they’d been hiding since the big battle, and savaged hell out of the Lords and all the Maids. There were eight ambulances here last night, and the local Civil Defence as well. The mother is in a home for the bewildered and I’m sitting here, up to my neck in birds’ droppings, empty whiskey and Valium bottles, birds’ blood and feathers, while the flaming cows eat the leaves off the pear-tree. I’m a broken man. Gobnait O’Lúnasa

Some of you will remember Frank Kelly, playing Father Jack Hackett in “Father Ted”.  

TREE

~ Share this fun with family and friends
and have a great weekend everyone. ~
~ Only SIX days left until CHRISTMAS! ~

H2O SUMMER FUN AND HILARIOUS MR. BEAN!

We are still not getting a break from the persistent intense heat wave here in Ottawa and surrounding area. According to an Environment Canada Meteorologist, July has been the driest month on record.

YouTube video intro: ‘Now that summer is most definitely here, people are realizing how hot it can really get. So to cool off and relax, French compilation artist zapatou (Luc Bergeron) made this Water Time compilation from famous online videos involving H2O.’

“Water Time – Compilation” – Published on Jul 2, 2012 by
Music: Neopolitan Dreams by Lisa Mitchell (Sound Remedy Remix)
Lisa Mitchell site: http://bit.ly/LpE34Q
Video Editor: Zapatou (Luc Bergeron)

Luc Bergeron facebook: http://on.fb.me/sXXz9X
Zapatou site: http://bit.ly/LpEewY

Zapatou’s comments:
“Hello!,
I really love to discover other people. I’m the kind of person who thinks that you can grow up from other people’s experience.
I have an unconditional passion for video editing, because by this medium I can share my emotions, my feeling to my audiences. By this medium, I can get you into my world.”

“Bonjour,
Je suis une personne qui adore découvrir les autres, car je trouve que c’est le meilleur moyen de m’enrichir moi-même. Depuis l’âge de 2 ans que je vis dans ma bulle et que je m’invente des histoires imaginaires drôles ou dramatiques.
J’ai une passion inconditionnelle pour les montages vidéo, puisque par ce médium je peux faire ressentir des émotions aux autres, en leur partageant une parcelle de mon monde.”

Now for the most hilarious YouTube video I’ve watched in a long, long time ~ Mr Bean at the Swimming Pool“, Uploaded by on Aug 25, 2009

Mr Bean goes to the swimming pool and tries to use the children’s slides. When he gets told off he heads off to the high dive board but is too scared to jump off. Classic Mr Bean clip from ‘The Curse of Mr Bean’.

The first episode of the original Mr Bean series starring Rowan Atkinson was first broadcast on 1st January 1990. Since then Mr Bean has become known all over the world. Created by Rowan Atkinson, Richard Curtis and Robin Driscoll, there were only 14 episode of the live action series ever made.

To find out more about Mr Bean visit:
http://www.mrbean.co.uk
Mr Bean on Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/mrbean
Follow us on Twitter
http://www.twitter.com/mrbean_bday

A great cool down video and lots of ‘Mr. Bean’ laughs – hope you enjoyed!

 Why not organize your own H2O fun event?
Have a great weekend everyone.

WARNING ~ DRINK H2O ONLY ~ JUST IN CASE ~ HA, HA!!!

A pretty good sign that you should only be drinking good old H2O in case you’re pulled over for a breathalyzer test and the cops have to resort to THIS when the breathalyzer unit isn’t working!!!

Uploaded by JustForLaughsTV on May 19, 2011

Here at Rainsoft Ottawa – Eternally Pure Water Systems, Inc. we have all the best water treatment equipment you’ll ever need for the very best tasting drinking or cooking water EVER!  ~ Just try our Rainsoft Reverse Osmosis system  – NO DANCING NECESSARY ~ WE PROMISE!!!

VIDEO ~ Rainsoft Ottawa Reverse Osmosis System_2012

Call Rainsoft Ottawa for ALL your WATER TREATMENT NEEDS.  We’ll be more than happy to answer all your questions and offer a FREE WATER TEST of you city or well water system.

Eternally Water Systems, Inc. (Rainsoft Ottawa)

613-742-0058     Mon. – Fri.    9:00 a.m to 5:30 p.m.

Web site: http://www.rainsoftofottawa.com

Link to Justforlaughs site ~
http://gags.justforlaughs.com