Tag Archives: play on words

RAINSOFT OTTAWA’S FUN FRIDAY – PUNOGRAPHY PART II

Punography –  a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.

 

Health:

 A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

When chemists die, they barium.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Be kind to your dentist.  He has fillings, too.

School:

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

Weather:

Earthquake in Washington obviously the government’s fault .

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me .

Miscellaneous:

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

Velcro – what a rip off!

Link –

http://www.talkclassical.com/18592-more-punography-groan.html

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RAINSOFT OTTAWA’S FUN FRIDAY – PUNOGRAPHY PART I

PUNOGRAPHYa joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.

Food & drink:

 Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Electronics:

I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.

I changed my I Pod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.

Arts:

A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A minor.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Sports:

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

The indecisive rower couldn’t choose either oar.

If you wear a blindfold at the shooting range, you won’t know what you’re missing.

 

Link

http://www.talkclassical.com/18592-more-punography-groan.html

One sports item from Pun a Day

  See you back here next Friday for Part II